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300907
backstrokin, sweat soakin woots, it's been way too long since i last got myself wasted. haha! obar just have that funny effect la, cos the drinks are so cheap? it was plain good fun (with a differenet group of people). haha. but the crowd is REALLY bad and really little as compared to one year back. wow, how time flies. THE black thang:  THE hair that black thang was proud of:  THE long overdue pic:  * i'm on a noble mission. that is to churn out a report on global climate change. by TMR. so while you're all wastin electricity readin this post, i'd betta get my ass on the report. right, PEACE OUT!! [/edit] OMG, melr's msg just came in. "wake up wake up wake up september ending already! haha" my friend. -.- cigarettes and alcohol @ 23:10
the fragility of life
my bro's friend was a SIA scholarship holder. he was doing aeronautical engineering in poly. he got his class 2B license in january. he was 19. he is dead. cigarettes and alcohol @ 22:39
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MY NEW ADDICTION!! it was here just the other day now it's gone i'm gonna call the police call the investigator, the heart investigator cigarettes and alcohol @ 08:26
THANKS MELSIE FOR THE INCONVENIENT TRUTH BOOK! :D
"It's not a political issue. It's a moral issue." - Al Gore time to go green people! * right, the long overdue pics from kok's birthday! THE happy birthday boy:  THE group:  THE “超级白”s:  THE lovers:  THE 色狼:  THE "four seasons":  THE chang: 
cigarettes and alcohol @ 02:12
wake me up when september ends
gosh, that song is SO old school! haha. i remember the last time we hummed to it was back in jc, and the last time we sang it was durin the dreadful As and maybe durin all the post As clubbin sessions (when we terrorise the taxi uncles with our half past six singings). haha. BESTIE, remember?! :) "It turns out, sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. The stakes are painful. But they're the only way to find out who you really are. I know who I am now. And I know what I want. " the past few weeks hadnt been easy, but the last two days had been great. :) it wasnt the sort of drama you find in soap operas. rather, it was just simple self-realisations and a couple of friends to exchange some opinions. i was glad that, through all the superficial small talks, i found the relative importance of other things. and, i would like to keep things going. we are exposed to different ideas everyday. and as we live, our ideas change. as much as we would love to keep things the same, we welcome changes too. people who love you would give you the most truthful feedback because they hope you can change for the better and be a happier person. these are called friends (and family). i totally dig that. therefore, i'm grateful for that handful of people i call friends and family. It is the details in life that keep us going. It is the mistakes we make that keep us strong. It is the loved ones around us that keep us safe. It is me that will make all these possible. To die, it takes plenty of courage. To live, it takes much more courage. there are plenty of thoughts which i would love to pen down. i did eventually tho, but they were pretty exclusive. i dont needa announce to the whole world what i discover, just the few close ones who understood. i think i owe bestie plenty. i love you, babe! haha, this is so random. :) whatever will be, will be. my world of broken promises now you won't catch me when i fall look at my life look at my heart i have seen them fall apart now i'm ready to rise again look at my hopes look at my dreams i'm building bridges from these scenes now i'm ready to rise again cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:35
250907
L word marathon on saturday night turned out to be just one and a half epi. lousy us started to doze off and finally succumbed to the temptations of the big z monster, green bed and green pillows. oh, mich cheated! she wasnt allowed to sleep on the green bed (tho it's hers) cos she wasnt in green, but she did. and she gave me a power kick in the middle of the night. thanks, friend. haha. * "Did they hastily conclude that or did they gathered enough stories and hearsays (like i did) to substantiate their so-called beliefs? I dare not question." 我並不懦弱 你比誰都懂 雖然寂寞 這會是我最後的寬容 cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:30
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red wine and sleeping pills feelin GREEN at dunbar walk:  after school love!  kok's birthday pics up asap! * this could make or break me. "Friend or Foe, we no longer have the right to choose. We would usually build walls to protect ourselves. But, how much can we protect ourselves?" i dont think i deserve such treatment. really. cigarettes and alcohol @ 16:25
200907
i dont know anymore what its for im not even sure if there is anyone who is in the sun will you help me to understand cause i've been caught in between all i wish for and all i need maybe you're not even sure what its for any more than me cigarettes and alcohol @ 22:24
nobody say it was easy
i realise, i love stability. but irony of all ironies, i'm always in a state of instability. "People change. Ideas change. Lifestyle change. Personality change. Companions change. The list continues. Changes are inevitable." hmmm. * "Imagine being walked out by the person you trust most. Unfortunately, you bare your soul too soon, and there you are, on the journey to getting your heart broken. cigarettes and alcohol @ 20:28
HAHA. my fluff pet (lil monsta) is alcoholic. no correction, an atas alcoholic!
cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:25
190907
new hair, old friend:  :D more pics up soon. cigarettes and alcohol @ 23:48
take me to tokyo!
 * life was simpler. lifejournal is the new thing. cigarettes and alcohol @ 11:21
it's a sad sad situation
"give me a reason to believe that something in this life is real." how true. this was almost meant to be a childish angry rebuttal to all the unjust that i've been feelin these days. some knew what happened, but everyone only knows part of it. right now, no matter how unfair i feel, i guess it's just too bad that i havent been wise enough to choose my friends. or maybe, it was easier to make good and reliable friends back then, when most of us were simpler and more straight-forward. there wasnt a need to hide ourselves behind all the fanciful facades. all we need was that unpretentious friend to stick by us when we needa rant or gush over that particular eyecandy down the canteen aisle. unknowingly, unconditional love and friendship were earned. as i step into my twenties, things change. while i may be sincere, most people out there arent. people make friends to gain something outta the friendship. people manipulate just to achieve what they want. people take multiple sides just to stay afloat. bottom line is whatever new relationships we foster, a distance has to be kept. you never know when your bad karma gets back at you. you never know who are the ones who'll warp you upside down, inside out when you least expected it. that brings me to something - birds of a feather flock together. these people turned their backs at me again and again. they think they can get away with whatever they do. they put up a false front. they think i'm this psychotic bitch who is equally warped. they say all the most logical and morally right things, but they never repent. they never redeem themselves. they continue hanging around with their own kind, seeking the kind of comfort they missed. well, they got it. i've no idea what's making me feel so agitated in the middle of the night. but i do know that this unjust anger in me cant be appeased, just yet. i do know i will NEVER forget how horrible a person you are. time and time and again, you've proven the hearsays about you to be true. and i also know, being the self-righteous and warped up you, you'll never gonna be bothered with me anymore. there's no fuckin point and i dont fuckin care. * please be wiser in future. cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:27
170907
will you help me to understand? blogs are for entertainment. sorry, i think mine is so borin, cos i've got nothing excitin to tell cept for the mundane drinkin sessions and work. issues that wont create a hoo-ha (at least on my taggie). thousand apologies. maybe we shld all just play facebook! it's the most happenin thing now, yo! but it's annoyin me cos everyday i get application invites. one long list, in fact. luckily i dint ask for email notifications (like ron and lois). haha. they're like spams but doesnt go to junk mail. imagine 67 emails just to tell you you got tagged in 67 photos. HAHA. hmm, maybe i shld go add these applications again. again cos i'd deleted them cos it was borin (only melr was playin wit me). maybe since everyone is playin now, it shld be more fun rite. yes, i shall clog my profile like how melr's garden got spammed by ven. hahaha. happenin facebooker i shall be! hurhur. * gosh, i cant believe half of september is gone. seriously, time flies like a rocket, boy! eeks, horror maximus. think i betta get my ass down for my report which is due soon. but for now, SLEEP. cigarettes and alcohol @ 22:31
i'll be your pressure suit
aloha! :D haha, we had an unexpectedly crazy time last night at aloha changi! :) actually this morning to be exact, cos we played till daybreak without knowin it. hahahha. throughout that few hours, we had the laughter of an army tho there was only five of us. i've no idea we were laughin so hysterically cos of alcohol high or cos we were plain stupid and hence, hilarious. hahaha. fortunately, seventh month just passed. cos the infamous old changi hospital was just across the road. haha. and when i reached there late at night, there was this emo kitty lurkin arnd. there was this point of time he just stood at a corner and from his back, the kitty looked damn emo! haha. hope we got a pic of him. anyhoos, it was mahjong at arnd one and it dragged for hours, till four in the morning. haha. then it was roulette shots and 'wang' and all kinds of rubbish. main idea was to down potent small shots of vodka and unknown puke-inducin concoctions. hilarious maximus when we got high on cheena techno diu diu diu songs. hahahah. the room was immediately transformed into a nightclub wit flashin lights and 'neon lightsticks' swingin in the air. no correction, manual on-off of the lights and handphone light(sticks). hahahaha. we laughed damn hard for a good whole minute please!! and then like an infectious disease, we played 'wang' and got damn high. dont think we were alcohol high cos we dint drink alot too. the shot glasses were really puny. so yea, laughed a great deal and went really crazy. hahaha. when we finally calmed down, the sun was comin out alr. haha. i dint expect it to be so enjoyable, really. :) anyway, thanks kok for makin the effort to come! :D you had work and karen werent able to stay over, but you still came! thanks thanks! hmms, maybe it's a good thing she dint join us, if not she prolly think you've mentally unsound friends. haha. but seriously, i really appreciate it. thanks again for all the trouble! :) ure the best company one can ever get. hahahaha. pics update asap! * right, at least i've a life. cigarettes and alcohol @ 15:47
160907
haha, i caught the ktv bug! hence this cheena entry. :) 倒带 我受够了等待你所谓的安排 说的未来到底多久才来 总是要来不及才知道我可爱 我想依赖而你却都不在 应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 一个人假日发呆 找不到人陪我看海 我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来 你累积给的伤害 我是真的很难释怀 终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来 终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍 你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开 你总是要我乖慢慢计划将来 我的眼泪却一直掉下来 过去怎么交代你该给的信赖 被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖 从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来 过去甜蜜在倒带 只是感觉已经不在 而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏 已经碎成太多块 要怎么拼凑跟重来 终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来 终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍 你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开 终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来 终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍 你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开 cigarettes and alcohol @ 13:09
140907
my dear jiayan is so cute! her msn subnick was, "let's go be getai singers!" i was tellin her that if she wants to be a getai singer, she gotta wait till next year! but i went off before she could reply me cos i gotta go meet melr. she then dropped me a msg, "hello xinn! but i really want to be a getai singer! you want to be my papaya sister?!" then i replied, "no prob. then i shall get penny to pair wit me then we can all wear pretty sequin dresses and be getai singers!" and now, she reply, "okay! we practice for next year okay? you be pa, i be pa, penny be ya! together we can be papaya!" hahaha. i miss that drama queen. :) cigarettes and alcohol @ 18:42
blithe
first thing first!  people who born on the THIRTEENTH are just special. hehe. :D kok turned 23 yesterday. hence, we shall go dragonfly (diu diu diu) on saturday to commemorate him becomin legal to diu diu diu at the happenin dragonfly. :) haha. collages to reminisce! :)   oh oh, here's a picture of THE sexy mad scientist - RICHARD WOLFSON:  he's my JC geog readings. literally. * zouk last night (in the army boys' term) was chui-ness maximus. totally bu xing ah! sigh, it was a wasted trip. but not exactly tho, cos i managed to catch up wit an old friend over maggi mee. haha. like i said, all it matters is that it felt good. prolly cos we realised how the bits of loopholes were slowly filled in and things became clearer. i guess sometimes it's best not to be too persistent on knowin the truth. or maybe, it's best not to get too involved when you are confused. what if i say i knew it all along? i realise my intuitions never fail me. i was convinced that maybe, i was wrong. but in reality, i was right all along. it's sucha a shame that after all the struggle, you look forward to something else and not what you've fought for. it's a bigger shame that even tho you knew it all along, you continue to let yourself being kicked around like a soccer ball and ultimately, out of the field cos you're too tattered and useless for the game. i'm not sure if i'm right this time and but i'm sure i dont need and dont want a part in this anymore. was it worth it? perhaps it's time for me to reconsider my definition of love (of any kind). i'm irked by the thought of love, being something i consider exclusive, becomes a vicious weapon others use to play manipulative mind games. or maybe, love is indeed blind. it conjures unrealistic dreams and hopes. it makes people believe that flaws can be iron out over time. but, was it worth it, really? perhaps i'll only discover the answer to it in future. like i said, time has this magic to make things right. for now, i've got no time to waste. my new chapter should reach its climax soon. is it working? is it working for you? is it worth it? hide the eyes from the truth maybe time, can fill the empty heart inside maybe time, can wipe the tears away cigarettes and alcohol @ 17:01
4 in the morning
waking up to find another day the moon got lost again last night but now the sun has finally had its say i guess i feel alright * "you're sucha fucker!" (silence) "you're the worst fucker i've ever met!" "you're the fucker who said the most assholic things to me last year! haha." (moments later) "yes i know, i'm sorry." (after the hour plus supper) "supper on me la!" it's been exactly one year (char reminded me again). it's amazin how we sat there like good ol times. not exactly thrashin things out, but... chattin. there were moments when it felt like deja vu. there were also moments when we felt so old but only a teeny bit wiser. it felt good and i like it. time has this magic to set things right again. and of cos, the cliche - time heals. * updates later! cigarettes and alcohol @ 03:55
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MY HAPPY FOREVER KUKU! :D hehe, she's literally jumpin for joy now. :) oooo, i dint know such happiness can be infectious too. haha. prolly cos you see your fren so happy, you feel happy too! :) i'm totally feelin this week, boy! love how my week begin. love how workin today wit mazlan was so enjoyable (he reminds me of uncle eddy! i miss uncle eddy!). love the pourin rain this morning. gonna love midweek wed cos meetin THE dearie bestie (finally)! gonna love thurs cos it's the THIRTEENTH (and somebody's birthday! hehe)! gonna love friday cos it's yet another weekend and it's party time! gonna love saturday simply cos it's saturday! gonna love sunday cos there's work again! hehe. and i'm lookin forward to next week to begin Project HCL! hahahaha. ikea soon wit my sponge. :) i love furniture shoppin! hehe. and i'm lovin the smell of rain from the outside now. impendin storm, but who cares! i'm lovin it cos i'm indoors and sleepin soon (just in time) and that means the weather will be cool enuf for me to wear my long sleeves. :D oh my, xinn's so high cos... FOREVER KUKU IS SO HAPPY! :D love! cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:43
i find comfort here
cos i know what is lost hope is always fear for the pain it may cost and i have searched for the reason to go on i can hear myself singing that song over and over until it belongs to me sarah bettens! ♥! :)! cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:58
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my new creation up there. :) comments? cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:51
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and you cant fight the tears that aint coming or the moment of truth in your lies when everything seems like the movies yeah you bleed just to know your alive and i dont want the world to see me cause i dont think that they'd understand when everything's made to be broken i just want you to know who i am the right kind of wrong. cigarettes and alcohol @ 11:18
UNLV: U Never Leave a Virgin
stealin some time off to blog from the video on the world's lagest hotels! anyway, that was so cheeky version we whispered among ourselves when sam and greg, the emcees for our first birthday, threw the question "what does UNLV means to you?" to the floor. how time flies! gosh, and i still remember my first day of school. everyone just knew i'll be late and started givin me mornin messages (wit well wishes of cos)to kindly remind me that i shldnt be late on the first day of school. but i was still half an hour late, due to unforeseen circumstances. HAHA. click here for proof (if you seriously need). hmms, it's amazin how much stuff can happen durin this one year. how much we lament about horrible TP lecturers like Tirzah Kangaroo, (Li) Fern Tan and non-TP lecturers like Ken (ass) Ho. how we party like there is no tmr. how we down bottles like water. how we frequent dblo/obar almost every month and (sometimes) week. how we have quizzes on almost every other week/day for McCool. how we laugh at Dean's cheapo antics. how we freeze at Gerry Koh's jokes. how we survive (last-minute) assignments and projects. how we play 'Wang' wit really inhumane dares. how we somehow get in sync wit spongey and form the underwater world family. how we eventually become the seven sins for awhile, cos of my mask. how we stay back for crazy stuff like steamboat in HCL. how we sing birthday songs one after another durin the frenzy february when we have so many feb (fab) babies! how we... memories. memories. memories. reminiscin always brings a smile to everyone's face. as time passes by, we tend to remember the good stuff, the beautiful memories, the wacky moments, and the funny (and not-so-funny) jokes. we repeat them among ourselves or to others and smile. it's amazin how we human work sometimes, eh? :) bad stuff. what bad stuff? i think we are all born optimists. :D yes, things change, dynamics shift. but life goes on and there is still endless of opportunites to weave beautiful memories. i'm lookin forward to the school's second birthday alr! :D righto, shall stop rambling and leave you guys wit snippets of the preparation process of the first anniversary celebrations (painstakingly put together by my dearest spongey, qing and mao ge!). plenty of love-hate relationships wit people in school. but i choose to love them this time. :) class wit Gerry Koh at tourism acad!  all-time favourite english group:  preparation in progress:   my school is VERY expensive (pun intended) indeed:  artworks by qing and natasha naidu (aka super white chindian):   * haha, new video now. it's about a mad scientist talkin about the greenhouse system, global warmin, etc etc. what we call understandin the causes for green hospitality. HMMM. anyway! (haha) caught the flu bug and was sneezin throughout my fam trip to the zoo and night safari on thursday. :( couldnt really enjoy cos was feelin pretty sick. but i strongly recommend the night safari. :) it's really cool (metaphorically and literally). but as usual, since it's a tourist attraction, just one visit is enuf. haha. was tellin qing how happenin i am this year. been to two countries and not one, but TWO ZOOS!! (actually three to be exact, haha) woohoo. hurhur, cheap thrill. singapore is dying to be a cosmopolitan city, so much so it's evident in the singapore zoo. now you get themed exhibits, complete wit the all the necessary structures to make the habitat more similar to the actual thing, like the Australian Outback (no koalas! :(). good effort, really. and they're still undergoin upgradin and revampin. amazin, eh? i think we shld just buy over thailand's slogan and change ours from "Uniquely Singapore" to "Amazing Singapore". haha. and, and, the singapore zoo houses the largest amount of primate species! :) right. the zoo definitely improved since the last time i visited (like five years ago?), and that includes the animal shows. the night safari animal show is pretty entertainin thanks to the host and usual huge amount of THE WORLD'S MOST ENTERTAININ-HEAD-BOBBIN PEOPLE WHO MULTIPLY MYSTERIOUSLY AND RUN AROUND TREES IN THEIR MOVIES. hahahaha. she was damn funny la. she even jack these people please, tellin the animals that they are not in indian (oops) movies, so stop runnin around trees and hurry appear. haha. and the thing is, she's indian too. sorry, dint manage to get a pic of my fellow amusin 'primates' cos it was night safari and to take a pic of them without flash (i understood what the zoo-keepers cautioned, unlike them) is a feat. hahahaha. so yea. and thank goodness my nose was blocked. THANK GOODNESS!! :D no koalas? it's okay. cos i want one of these instead:  * phew, long entry. hope i havent missed anything. i seriously salute you if you finish readin all my ramblings. :D leave a tag if you did. i'll honour you accordingly. hahaha. right, back to my mr mad scientist and mrs mad scientist (his macbook in the video). hur hur. OMG the mad scientist in the video just winked while explainin the winter and summer soltice. hahahahha. cigarettes and alcohol @ 09:42
same same, but different
i know i owe many plenty of updates. i do have plenty to update! but just cant find the time and the energy (thanks to the nasty bug called flu, which cost me one whole week to recuperate). so, to compensate, lemme infect you all wit this new found love on my playlist. :) thanks jon! there you are standing right in front of me there you are standing right in front of me all this fear falls away to leave me naked hold me close, cos i need you to guide me to safety * updates right up, i promise! :D i just had a wake up call, wishing that i never let you fall, baby you are not to blame at all. cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:45
020907
virn's subnick was: I ♥ Ngak! and so, goodbye, the future's sold out xinn says: hahhaha, ur subnick sounds like a potential facebook grp again!! virnnnn says: HEHEHHE virnnnn says: DO YOU LIKE HIM TOO goodbye, the future's sold out xinn says: uhm im okae wit him goodbye, the future's sold out xinn says: but i noe eileen is CRAZY over him goodbye, the future's sold out xinn says: i think can form fan club alr virnnnn says: haha! i'll see if i still like him next week cigarettes and alcohol @ 22:29
love, love, love, love, love
makes the world go round! :D last week:   i miss my cam. :( :( * song with a therapeutic touch. preferably on repeat. :) joseph arthur - in the sun. cigarettes and alcohol @ 21:55
the moon got lost again last night
haha, random discovery of the day at work. look what the nanoguide (it's like a pocket guide) to nightlife in singapore has to say about the club, PLAY (then called HAPPY). "Happy Bar and Club how peculiar! how tongue in cheek, indeed! hehe. :) it's funny how a gay club got featured together with big names (in singapore) like zouk, mos, balaclava, forbidden city and the alley bar. hahaha. i suspect the nanoguide was printed when it was still mr goh in reign. haha! aaaah, singapore is so amusin. :) kinda dragged myself to work today, cos i was so grouchy and groggy. GG double gee. good game for me when i was late for 15 mins, and then got called to do 'racki' (not sure what's the spelling) of taka and ngee ann city. so i now hereby declare that i'm the walkin directory for this two shopping centres! :D hahaha. but seriously, i can tell you the exact location of the various ATMs and tell you the types of cuisine these two buildings have. hahaha. told ya i'm the enhanced GPS and yellow pages now. and thanks mark for the company cos (ahem!) the very good black fren of ours decided to ditch us cos he was feelin horny and 'confused'. yea right. haha. * bestie and i forgot to go town again cos we were so engrossed in dissin people. hahaha. i swear i'm gettin bad karma for xia-laning innocent parties. but there is also a certain fun factor right. if not, why the hell we only leave her house for town only at 4 plus when we were suppose to leave town at 6. haha. aiys, love that girl la. :) how we used to have cold wars cos i felt underappreciated. how i lament about the annoyin traits of a sagittarian, but still love her just as much. how we used to cry cos we dont wanta lose our friendship. how we used to laugh and bitch like there is no tmr on the phone everyday, tho we meet in school and do the same thing everyday. how we made her parents thought we were gay (to the extent that her mom urges to her to get a bf). haha. six years of tears and laughters and still countin, my dearest! :D oooo, let's reminisce those letter-writing days! when we compete to see whose letter is longer and neater and funnier and more colourful. when i burst out laughin cos of some stupid pic you insert into your sentences (i swear st nicks girls all have a flair for drawin! hahaha). when we tried to 'trash things out' through letters and then called each other again for long talks. when we apologise countlessly for being so insensible. when we gush over stupid random characters in our lives. HAHAHA. :D * dblo/obar is a breedin ground for emo-ness. sometimes, realisations aint all that bad either. i'm glad how i managed to come to terms wit some stuffs now, includin my dumbshit dad. tho maybe not for long, but i'm still glad. :) he, too, decided to be nice to me again (prolly cos he strike 4D, haha). and i'm glad how i'm helpin friends again, like the midnight call which cost me my precious sleep. haha. stupid lancer owner owes me one! :) please be gentle, i'm still learning. cigarettes and alcohol @ 20:59 
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