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291007
she adores me and then ignores me "How come no one told me All throughout history The loneliest people Were the ones who always spoke the truth The ones who made a difference By withstanding the indifference I guess it's up to me now Should I take that risk or just smile? When something is broken, you either discard or fix it. When something is not working, it is either forgotten or fixed. What will you do when a relationship is broken? Would you discard it on the whole or attempt to fix it? I guess it all voice down to how much it matters and if it is worth it. Doesn't that just make all of us practical people? Perhaps, this is how things should work most of the time. We are but, individuals who desire to be loved in return too. Why should we be holding on to something which has no value to us? Why should we be bothered fixing something which doesn't matter to us?" It has a set of new batteries. It is a new strap. Time had stopped once. It had been away. But, will the feeling remain the same? What do you know? Whisper goodbye as your fears are slowly shattered. friends, livejournal please. cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:40
happy love song!
hehe, he is quite hot too. ang gong very hot too! :D cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:29
riot on an empty street
what a hectic, hectic week! amidst all the after school part-time jobs and school work, i'm really proud to say that the HCL has done really well! great job girls! WE SURVIVED AND WE DID IT!! :D phew, finally done with the halloween party. although it wasnt exactly a blast but it was still enjoyable although there were so many hiccups along the way. :) promise pics will be up soon aights! rebel one still rawk please. :D * i'm gonna saint your mother just for giving you birth. over the weekend, one of my really special good friend just hit the big two-oh. :D i'm sorry, leen dearest, for the slip-short meeting this afternoon. i will make up to you soon okae? i actually wanted to plan something for you but the halloween party i had on hand was gnawing mercilessly on my energy and time. roar. so yea. hope you love the scent we got you tho! :) i love you no matter what!! i know you'll catch me when i fall and i hope you know i'll do likewise for you too. i dont say or promise things which i dont mean, and the offer stands for life! :D hope you had a lovely weekend. MUAH!! * short or long. recently, i've been askin arnd if i should keep my hair short or long. the majority (in fact all but a handful) voted for short without hesitation. some say i look fine in either one. but i guess kok really knows me well (he even knows what dim sum i would order the other time tho he wasnt there! haha), cos he said something which i kinda agree more. kok: keep it short la, your current hair suits your personality more. me: but not many guys like/appreciate girls with short hair right? kok: yea true. me: THAT MEANS I'LL BE LEFT ON THE SHELVES FOR DAMN LONG!! AND DIE AN OLD SPINSTER!! :( sadded. lonely, i'm so lonely. haha. * bedtime now, to nurse an impending flu. :( cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:02
221007
this is what i'll be busy with this whole week:  click to enlarge!  my fav poster on LCD. :)  hehe my second fav. (poster pics are actually by all the brilliant artists on deviantart.) HCL affairs shall keep me busy till i'm free!! oh my god, i think i wont have much life till december. :( oooo, my new motivation in school - my law lecturer. hehe. he's quite cute, used to be a lawyer for steve wynns and married TWICE with FOUR kids. wow. hahaha. happenin la. okay babies, gotta fly to raffles city. before i leave, lemme share what i found along temple street in chinatown just now:  look carefully. rare sight, aint it? :) * oh no- here comes that sun again. and (that) means another day without you my friend. and it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself. and it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else. and it's so hard to do and so easy to say. but sometimes - sometimes, you just have to walk away - walk away. with so many people to love in my life, why do i worry about one? but you put the happy in my ness, you put the good times into my fun. virn got me hooked onto this. :) cigarettes and alcohol @ 16:11
211007
cooooookies. i want cooooookies! chomp! cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:31
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GOH TEOW BOON (again)! :D
hehe, somebody finally join the big two-oh family. gosh, the number of people i know who are born this week is crazily huge. oh yea, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOYCE OWYEUNG TOO!! :D i know of FOUR people havin the same birthday this month. haha. madness la. but accordin to one of those brouchures on singapore, october is the month with the most singaporeans being born. haha, no wonder. anyhoos, chalet was damn cui! :( there were six of us and only four gedda play mahjong. and so, kok and i were munchin on tidbits (or rather, me only), testin my black lychee vodka (kok dint like the colour of it wit mixture at all cos it looks like sewage water. but it tasted alrite la. haha) and watchin tv until we got bored. and so we proceeded to watch dvd on his lappy after my lame attempt at dota. hahaha. we watched FEED. "Consumption is evolution."  oh my god. it's fuckin sick la. imagine you got force-feed wit brewed human fats to 600 pounds before your organs go on strike and you die. sick, aint it? and it was a lil bit 'artistic', maybe cos of the way it was filmed. kok and i dint get the story at all initially la, and the bad subtitles dint help at all. hahah. oh wells, main thing is we both knocked out till the next mornin AT A CHALET! sadness maximus. * oh watched spider lilies online last night!   tattoos on girls are hot stuff! :D esp big big ones. hehe. HAWT! and the tattoo artist in the movie kinda reminds me of virnie pottie. maybe cos shes thin, lengthy, super white/fair wit long black hair! and she's artistic too. LIKE VIRN! hahahha. i cant wait to fill up my lower back now. virn, dont forget hor. :) right, here's sth for fellow fans of grey's anatomy and house. IT'S THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER LA. but, you gotta be fans of both drama to understand the jokes i think. hahahaha. alright, sidenote, it's produced by MADtv, the channel which airs the infamous miss swan. hahahaha. cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:59
181007
"Because I've chosen. The only person who can save me is the person doing this to me." oh...seems like i'm always on my own, seems like i'm never coming home seems like i'm always on my own... all the stars and boulevards arent close enough for you... cigarettes and alcohol @ 02:56
161007
she's born in black and white you don't know me, you don't even care sometimes i wish i can prevent myself from makin mistakes, or at least, give me the chance to redeem myself. but sometimes, the more i wish for something, the more things would happen otherwise. i feel helpless as i see things slip through my fingers and realise that many things are beyond my control. the more i try to grasp something, the more easily it slip through the gaps between my fingers. at this point in my life, there are many things which i havent figure out. even if i did, i lack the courage to do what i figured would be the best for me. there are many times we just let things go, leave things as it is and then somehow feel that we could've done more than just that. but this thought usually came a tad too late. and so, we continue to leave things as it is. is this how we human beings work? i wish i could take back whatever hurtful comments i hurled at you. i wish i could take back all the unjust remarks i conclude about you. i wish i could chat wit you like how we used to in the car. suddenly, i'm afraid of losin you (for good). i'm afraid that you leave me before i could work things out. am i too late to feel this way? i dont want things (or myself) to disintegrate. why am i not thinkin the way i used to? am i given too much freedom now? the taste of liberation is sweet, but not this time. but i guess whatever is done cannot be undone. i guess some things are still best to be left alone. i guess i should just allow time to work things out. but, i wish i could be wiser. i wish i know how to deal wit sticky situations like how i advised my friends. i wish there was a clearer picture for me to see. i think i'll start it over, where no one knows my name alas, ideals are just ideas. * "I never did hate you." cigarettes and alcohol @ 23:08
spongey is sucha darlin, always. even on the phone. :)
spongey: you still owe me 50 bikini money! me: yes yes, wait for my pay girl. spongey: HAHAHAHAHA! (lol on the phone) spongey: '50 bikini money' sounds like our currency (from bikini bottoms). haha! told ya. * simple things keep one happy. cigarettes and alcohol @ 22:39
151007
"I can't seem to break free. This is becoming a periodic affair. I wish I could stop it soon, but I lack the courage to do just so. I mean, sometimes I do feel the strength to keep me going. But I guess during times like these when my schedule is packed to the max and when I finally stop to rest, I start thinking. I start thinking of things that should be left the way it is. I start thinking of possibilities. I start thinking like a optimist, an idealist, but never a realist. I hope I'm resting enough emotionally, before the real challenge comes." * peelin after a suntannin is no joke. kok and i were behavin like primates in HCL this afternoon. HAHA. and spongey innocently became one of us, scratchin for each other. hahaha. and we were back to primary school, shootin each other wit water guns and runnin around the library like kids. happenin la happenin! sadness maximus, i'm packed till saturday. till then, take care babies! :) cigarettes and alcohol @ 23:54
stars and boulevards
"Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to." Dig that. i think that i'm just tired i think i need a new town, to leave this all behind i think i need a sunrise, i'm tired of the sunset i hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice oh yeah, you dont know me, you dont even care... cigarettes and alcohol @ 01:18
111007
comedy central BWAHAHAHAHAHA. PKK is hilarious. PKK is like the facebook "yo mama jokes" application, everyday udpatin me a joke. hehe. PKK rawks la. PKK should talk more. hahahahahhaha!! PKK, why are you so PK? (inside joke) * anyway, i was so hungry (and tired) today that i was so pissed that my lunch got delayed. kok, i dint bang you la. but i did stomp off. hahahah. now you know, never leave a man hungry and never make a woman angry. and when you combine both, you get a catastrophe!! HAHA. i can write poem alr. in retrospect, it was quite funny la. how i was so irriated at HCL, fumin all the way to toa payoh and immediately became normal once i had my first spoon of pi dan zok. and yay, dimsum cravin satisfied. :D ha gao, siew mai, lor mai gai, pi dan zok, chicken feet, pork ribs, carrot cake, char siew puffs.. hehe. * alrighty, pics i got from qing a couple days back! :D candids at jon's place and chang's chalet:  THE emo kitty:  oooo, CANT WAIT FOR THE LAST PAPER TO END TMR! :D cigarettes and alcohol @ 23:44
this doesnt have to end in tragedy
"So many special people change. So many lives were living strange. You're amazing. So am I. If, given a second chance, will you make things better? If, I were to give you that chance, will you cherish it? If, it is possible at all. My darling, who knew." * CONGRATS TO MR TAN SHI CHANG! :D hahaha. towkay no more PDL! i think the year 2007 is a good year for people to pass their TP on their THIRD try. HAHAHA. goodie, we've one more driver for road trips alr. :) AND one more driver in the east! even betta. hahaha. yay goodie goodie! :D ooooo, betta hurry plan for the long hols in dec! hehe. ROAR. i want these two days to hurry up fly. cigarettes and alcohol @ 00:43
081007
OMG, bestie never fails to perk me up durin our msn convos!! hahahah. and i blogged so much within a day, it's unbelievable. i think i'm deprived. HAHA. on toto luck (KNS, i actually chek the numbers facin the chao dean's office and chanted "andy andy, bor bi wa tio jin zhui lui, then got money pay sch fees" for good fengshui please. and all i get is ONE pathetic number outta the seven. WHAT IS THIS!!): i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: so angry, no toto luck Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: haha like the rest of spore too rite i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: hahahha how optimistic on being happenin on facebook and livejournal: i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: omg, you damn facebooker now la Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: hehe sorry i slow Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: dun xialan me pls Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: and how to add u as my lj fren? i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: hoi, watch ur manners i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: wat lj fren Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: HAHAHHA! Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: thats not ur interest too wat i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: true i'll perfect it till my heart explodes xinn says: hahaha :D cigarettes and alcohol @ 23:49
the only resolution and the only joy
i love spongey! and i'm so happy for her! :D * although many say, "let bygones be bygones", not many actually have the courage to let go. sometimes you do because of something or someone else. they make it easier. when there isnt a something or someone, i guess i should just do myself a favour. while i wish for people to be real (at least to me) and not lie through their teeth, am i also being too immature and inconsiderate for not puttin myself in that person's shoes? is she having reasons which i dont know? is he strugglin wit a self-esteem problem? am i being too demandin to ask for what seems like a simple request to me but not to these people? i now ask, what i do is right then? * this 80-proof baby has been sittin in my livin room for a couple of days, waitin to be savour. :)  it smells DAMN like lychee martini! cigarettes and alcohol @ 20:54
aaaahh, my dear spongey busted my plans for the long weekend! :(
urgh, i'm feelin constipated. too much meat. chomp chomp chomp. cigarettes and alcohol @ 13:01
i'll perfect it till my heart explodes
hello babies!! this is gonna be a LONG post! i havent been on a hiatus, just damn busy! haha. and phew! finally done with projects. the past week had been crazy! school, work, with little play. this comin week is gonna be just as bad. EEKS! three final exams on two consecutive days. BUT! the good thing is, teethers gonna give us a day off and we can have early hols! TEEHEEHEE! :D and hence, kok came up wit a brilliant idea, that is to go sentosa for volley and frisbee! WHEE. :) sentosa, it shall be! for the past few days, facebook had been my only source of entertainment. durin projects (wit lois and char) especially, amidst all the chaos we had durin project discussions because all of us were so drained. okae, actually there was victoria secrets on youtube too, cos had to source for videos for our event, "metamorphosis". haha! totally addicted to those videos i'd tell you. hotness maximus! if only we could REALLY bring these models in to parade for us! contingency plans would be how to clear the heaps of drool pools left by cheekos. HAHA. and only two days ago, this particular application became my addiction. thanks to bestie. haha. old school sega game!  i'm bringin sexy back. HIIIAAKK! pretty wings! :) and just now i was being really random on msn, cos was smellin so good after my shower. OH OH, recommendation from my bro!! johnson's pH5.5 WITH HONEY!! :D i swear you smell ten times betta than babies!! hehehe. the faint spark of forgiveness xinn says: i love the smell of me now, i smell of honey Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: u bathe in honey ar? will u attract ants not? Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: haha its shampoo or foam? the faint spark of forgiveness xinn says: the normal shower gel la Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: ohhh then it glides off ur skin rite Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: and now even ants also will cos it leaves all skin all soft and smooth Don't cry tonight, there's a heaven above you says: haha like ur legs sia! the faint spark of forgiveness xinn says: wth * wont you just prove me wrong? right from the beginnin, i've been givin you the benefit of doubt, the kinda trust and faith a friend should have. cant you just fuckin prove me wrong? do you know what others have been sayin things? and how you are still 'good friends' wit these people is just damn sick. cant you just lead a normal life wit normal commitments? i dont need you to talk to me. i just need you to prove me wrong, to at least show that i havent made the wrong judgement. thank you. "There is just so much one can tolerate. The simple basic rule I have (and will always stick to) to living life is to be as real as possible, hide secrets yes, but not tell lies. Is this some kinda 'revenge' that you secretly plot against me? Some kinda childish revenge to get back at what I did to you? Seriously, look at yourself in the mirror please. For goodness sake, act like your age. We've been really tolerant with you. Now it's up to you to change for the better. Fuck you. You don't come act all good friend with me, then backstab me and act like nothing happened. I saw how you're doing it to others. Others also knew how two faced you were. We kept quiet. But that doesn't mean we can be there for you to manipulate. But there is yet another saying, small fries like these who thrive on carrying tales fall quicker than they expect. Only the wise can see the truth. BUT, SO WHAT? I can't stand it that all I can do now is blog this entry and secretly wish for retribution to befall on these annoyin pests in my life. I can't stand it that these mentally unsound ones are making me look like the one who is mentally unsound and not them. CHAO JI BAIs." cigarettes and alcohol @ 02:11 
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